I would like to remind first of all to myself, that in the moment of death nothing could help, except for the ability to worship and serve Lord Sri Krishna with love! So, Sripad Shankaracharya said as many as three times, Bhaja Govindam, just worship Govinda!
I came to India my second time in 1996 to Gurudev Bhakti Ballabh Tirtha Goswami Maharaj after becoming his first non-Indian full-time disciple initiated in 1995 at Sridham Vrindavan on Baladev Purnima at the end of Radha-Govinda Jhulan Yatra Festival of Sree Chaitanya Gaudiya Math.
I approached Him this time with the idea to study Sanskrit. Gurudev told me on hearing me, you did not come to Me, you came to learn something. It meant I came with the desire not to serve the Guru but to learn something for myself. I clearly understood that Gurudev gave me a choice: to be an independent scholar in Sanskrit or to be His fully dedicated disciple. I still insisted on studies anyway and Gurudev agreed with my desire and allowed me to live in Calcutta Math while I was attending Calcutta Sanskrit College. It was the same college where Srila Prabhupada Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati studied 100 years before me.
But when a professor of Sanskrit told me there, why did you learn it all? We spent a lifetime in such studies, but it never reached the goal. You already dedicated yourself as Sri Krishna devotee and lived in the Math, it meant you knew something more than we were. When I heard it, I came to Gurudev and told Him that now my worldly education was over, I would serve the Guru and Vaisnavas as they liked, and not the way what I wanted.
I started accompanying Gurudev all over India as His first personal secretary possessing notebook and typing His letters and English articles and books that He was preparing for His first foreign preaching trips planned to start since 1997. Gurudev graciously took me with him on his Europe trip in 1999.
By the way, Prabhupada also dropped out from Calcutta Sanskrit College. When asked why, he told that now all would consider him as a failure and would not force him to get married and lead a mundane life, and he could peacefully perform His Bhajan.
Hari bol! Jay Sri Guru ki Jay!
